The Circus

I stared into the abyss,
With two pairs of eyes, holding her hand.
To make the void bright and safe — I presumed.
Crossed the hounds of Hades,
Cold.
With my hands between my thighs,
With the caress of my lifeless duvet,
Alone in a desolate desert.

Did she disappear?
Could she comprehend?
Maybe I fantasise utopia.

Did I forget —
Breathing and living,
Smiling and joy,
Screaming and pain
Ain't the same.

She — my chalice — and my tears,
You all deceived me,
Failed to hold, ease, and relieve me of my prison.

Is this a prison, purgatory, dream,
Or a sick joke?
Maybe almighty, maybe aliens, or even evolution —
Who is this morbid ringmaster?
Am I part of the one?
Or will I rot in the ground?
I doubt I care — let me be free.